You Can Still Be Free
by AnimeCat
Summary: Its a songfic, not a rework, like my Lucky thing. Duo is reflecting on a mistake in the war, and contemplated suicide for a moment. Gets a new friend. Song by Savage garden. R&R!


  
AnimeCat: This song rules, but my fic on the other hand........ I just thought it would be cool. Please review!!! I'm freaking out over here cause I only got 2 reviews out of 65 hits on my last songfic!! Yeah, I know I put it up yesterday, but still!!! Warnings: OOCness. Well, who knows. I don't claim Duo(wish I could....) or the other guys, whoever owns them legally, yippee for them.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
You Can Still Be Free  
  
Song by: Savage Garden  
  
*Cool breeze and autumn leaves  
Slow motion daylight*  
  
He walks quickly, keeping his eyes on the sidewalk ahead. The laughter, the happiness, the cheers of small children fill his head. He grits his teeth and continues walking. It hurts… He looks up, stealing a glance at the children. Seven of them, all brothers and sisters. The resemblance was unmistakable. They play near the site where their extensive family is rebuilding their house. He continues walking.  
This was the site of one of his first battles…  
  
*A lone pair of watchful eyes   
Oversee the living*  
  
He doesn't know why he returned to this place. Maybe he wants to be reminded…maybe he wants to be forgiven. Forgiveness won't come easy. Especially because he doesn't forgive himself.   
  
It was an accident on his part, attacking the civilian area without paying attention. And after the past few years, they were barely done rebuilding.   
  
*Feel the presence all around…*  
  
On some level, he wants these people to know it was he who hurt their lives so much. They'd probably just stare at him and ask themselves, "The scrawny braided kid did this? Impossible." But he wants them to know all the same. He feels they should hurt him…make him pay, even if it was a accident.  
  
But this isn't the only place he's destroyed, on accident or not. All those bases, all those lives. The fathers, the brothers, the sons, the husbands, the lovers, the uncles. Every man that died at the wrath of Deathscythe was someone's something.   
  
He doesn't think he'll ever forgive himself.  
  
*A tortured soul,  
A wound unhealing*  
  
Do the others feel this way? This hollow deep inside? During the war, it was something different. He interpreted as something different on whole. And now, he knows its regret.   
  
No. He shakes his head. The God of Death has no regrets! He became what he became so that the colonies would be free.   
  
…But what about the earth?  
  
*No regrets or promises  
The past is gone*   
  
*But you can still be free  
If time will set you free*  
  
He continues walking. He is frightened of what he might want to do or say. He still carries a gun.  
  
There had been times during the war he wished he could just end it. Not during a battle, in the dark sometimes at night when he was alone. When memories haunted him, and when the merest thought of tomorrow's mission made him shiver.   
  
*Time now to spread your wings*  
To take to flight*  
  
*The life endeavor  
Aim for the burning sun*  
  
He smiles at the idea. If he was Death, he would fly… He looks up at the sky. He could soar from the empty shell once called Duo Maxwell and fly in the sky like a bird, and continue the suffering he brought upon mortals. But then there would be no feelings…no regret… He sighs.   
  
*You're trapped inside  
But you can still be free  
If time will set you free*  
  
He wants to be free from the emotion called depression. Maybe death is the only way.   
  
Hmm… No. Suicide was selfish. What would Quatre say? He smiles in spite of himself. What would any of them say? He could practically hear them talking.   
  
"Suicide, Duo? Are you crazy? You have so much to offer the world!" Quatre would say.  
  
"Suicide, huh? I always thought of you to be the last of us to even consider that." Trowa would say.  
  
"Maxwell, suicide is dishonorable. If you want to die so badly, get Yuy to kill you." Wufei would say. Hm, wouldn't take much convincing.  
  
"Hn." Heero would say. And maybe if he was lucky, Heero might make some snide little comment about being worth something.  
  
*But it's a long long way to go*  
  
He lost himself in his thoughts. Maybe he should find something to do, like making it his mission in life to make Heero say more than one word to him. Find something to do that interested him in the slightest.   
  
"Why am I questioning this?" He asks himself again and again. "The war is over. Everything that happened is the past. People are rebuilding their lives and their world. I'm not to blame."  
  
Then what was this feeling?  
  
*Keep moving way up high  
You see the light*  
  
He looks down from the bright earth sky filled with white cotton candy clouds and sees one of the young children standing right in front of him.   
  
"Hi." She says sweetly. "I'm Katie."   
He smiles at her. "I'm Duo. Is that your family?"  
She looks over at the group of children. "Yeah." She nods. He thinks she may be six or seven, maybe only five. "I had another brother named Stephan, but he died in the war. I don't remember him very well."  
He feels his heart tear in shreds. She looks up at him curiously. "Did you know anyone who died?"  
  
He wants to say yes, he knew lots of them. Killed his fair share, too. He nods.   
  
"My family." He says, which was true. She looks sad.   
  
"I'm sorry. Do you have any friends?" She asks. He smiles again.  
  
"A few." He says, thinking of them. Katie is a sweet little thing, with hair so pretty it looks like spun gold. Her eyes are a soft silvery color. She is making his day by just talking to him, even if it is a subject he dislikes.   
  
*It shines forever  
Sail through the crimson skies*  
  
*The purest light  
The purest light that sets you free*   
  
"How…how do you feel about Stephan dying?" He asks nervously. "If you ever met the soldier who killed him, would you hate him?"   
He didn't mean himself, there was no way to tell if he'd killed this boy or not, or even telling if the boy had been part of the Alliance, Oz, the Treize Faction, or the White Fang. The girl surprised him greatly by shaking her head.  
  
"No. Stephan died because he loved the earth. He wanted to fight because he wanted to protect Mama, Papa, and our family. Papa was too old to fight." She says seriously. He sighs again. Such brave words from a girl so young.   
  
*If time will set you free*  
  
"Did you fight in the war?" She asks. He doesn't want to admit it, but he doesn't want to lie to the child.  
  
"Yes." He says quietly. An unreadable expression crosses her face.   
  
"Stephan was your age." She says sadly. "Maybe you knew him."   
  
"Maybe. Was he killed by a…" He takes a breath. "Gundam?"  
  
"No." She says. "He was killed by the White Fang. Stephan liked the Gundams. Did you?"  
  
"Yes I did." He grins.   
  
*Sail through the wind and rain tonight  
You're free to fly tonight*   
  
"I feel sorry for them." She says sadly. "I heard that they were very young boys. They must have been very sad and missed their families."  
  
"Yeah…they probably did." He says sadly. "The battlefield was always very sad."  
  
"I'm sorry about your family." She continues.   
  
"Thank you. I'm sorry about Stephan."  
  
"KATIE? KATIE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING OVER THERE?" Someone hollers over the distance it was to her family.   
  
"I'm talking, Papa!" She shouts.   
  
"WITH WHO?"  
  
"Duo!"  
  
"WHO? NEVER MIND. GET OVER HERE, KATIE!"   
Katie looks up at him.   
  
"I have to go." She says disappointedly.   
  
*And you can still be free  
If time will set you free*   
  
*And going higher than mountaintops  
And go high, the wind don't stop*  
  
He nods. "Yeah, I guess so." She turns around and takes a few steps. He watches her go then calls, "Katie?"  
  
She turns around. "Hm?"   
  
"I was sad, but you made me feel better." He smiles. He continues walking, but this time she stops him.  
  
"Duo," She calls. "I'm your friend, okay?"  
  
"Definitely. We're friends, Katie."   
  
He continues walking, and she walks home.  
  
*And go high  
Free to fly tonight…  
Free to fly tonight…*  
  
  
AnimeCat:*beyond desperation* Was it good? Did it suck? Just tell me!!! If you hated it so much you wish you could banish me from fanfiction.net, just tell me!!! If you even remotely liked it, tell me!!! Review!!! If you're confused of why Duo felt better after talking with her, its 'cause her message was something like, 'Don't feel bad about what you've done because everything that people did in the war was because they wanted to protect others, no matter what side' or something like that. 


End file.
